I'm with your ghost again

When I close my eyes I see you, no matter where I am, I can smell your perfume through these whispering pines.  I’m with your ghost again, it’s a shame about the weather but I know that soon we’ll be together and I can’t wait ‘til then. –“Colder Weather”, Zac Brown Band

There are times; more than ten years later, when heartbreaking moments come rushing back to me in vivid detail. A few weeks ago I heard that a family friend is dying of cancer. To be frank, it wasn’t a surprise. She has been hell-bent on her end for years now. But, so was my mom. The next day as I woke a memory rushed back at me, and I was transported back to December 27, 1998. When I stood there, alone, as doctors rushed in and my mother slipped away into a coma. I was there, the only one there, and as they asked if they should put her back on the ventilator I selfishly chose to prolong her agony. It’s true that it offered up an opportunity for some of my family to say good-bye, and for that I am grateful. But that moment, more than any of the others, stays with me.

I found out yesterday that my step-mom was diagnosed with COPD, the same disease that claimed my mother. I guess I should know by now that life is full of twists and turns, and you just never know how quickly things can change, so you have to tell people how you feel about them when you have the chance. Lois saved my Dad. She brought air back to all of us and a sense of fun and humor that had been missing in our lonely house for years. For Lois, this diagnosis is just another reason to take a walk. She will continue her life as she always has and I suspect that will be true for years to come. So, with Mother’s Day approaching there is no time like the present to thank your mom, give her a hug and tell her that you love her. I love you, Lois. Thank you for resuscitating all of us.